Even if you love a bad boy as a boyfriend, deep down everyone wants to be with a good partner who treats their loved ones right. This includes being faithful, loyal, and loving. You, as a result, don’t have to worry about where he is, who he’s dating, and whether he really went out with the guys. 90% of people agree that infidelity is wrong, but a lot of people still do it.
Can you spot the adulterers? People cheat for a variety of reasons and I’m sure you’re aware of that. Read this article and see if you’ve noticed these things in your relationship. In this article, we will look at three classic types of cheating and warning signs to watch out for.
What types of men cheat?
1) The opportunistic guy
An opportunistic cheater may not use dating apps or take off his wedding ring in bars while looking for women, but if he’s “in the right place at the right time,” he’ll take the opportunity. He likes one-night stands.
Just like this man who admitted to cheating on his girlfriend on vacation:
“I accidentally reunited with a girl when I was on a spring break in Florida. My girlfriend was there, but she was taking a break from summer internship interviews, so I took the opportunity. Why did I do that? The answer is that I was drunk and I really don’t want to think about deeper common reasons that might exist. Okay, I know I’m a moron.”
For an opportunistic deceiver, this isn’t necessarily premeditated, but they also find themselves walking down a path where one thing then leads to another, thinking that at that moment deception is inevitable. Take this guy on Reddit for example
“I am a 37-year-old man, my wife is 48 years old. About a month and a half ago, I was out of town on the other side of the country for a one-week seminar for my job. I started a conversation with a very attractive 34-year-old. I never thought in my wildest dreams that anything would come of it. I was always completely faithful to my wife and I vowed, and assumed, that I would always be. This second women is married women and had four children. Well, one led to the other and we went back to her hotel room, had a few drinks, started kissing and … it just seemed like I couldn’t help myself. I don’t apologize for what I did.
2) The frustrated guy
The frustrated guy cheats because he feels his needs aren’t being met in his current relationship. He may be in a long-term relationship or simply loves extramarital sex. He may feel sexual frustration or have sexual needs. Simple frustrations don’t allow him to be happy. He’s always missing something.
He feels damaged, whether emotionally or sexually. If he hasn’t had a regular relationship with a partner or physical contact, it tempts him to go look elsewhere. Or, of course, if he’s not emotionally happy with the primary relationship, he’ll want something else.
In essence, he feels neglected. If he feels disconnected from his partner, he could be motivated by a sense of loneliness and a desire to find confirmation elsewhere. Maybe the affair partner no longer feels respected or needed. It’s no longer the way it was in the beginning.
If problems with his current relationship have damaged his self-esteem, he may be looking for an affair to inflate it again. The ego is key in a man.
At heart, the frustrated cheater feels like a victim. He believes that external circumstances beyond his control are to blame for his deviance.
3) Confident guy
A confident man uses his charm to approach any girl in his spare time, because he’s a very good talker. It just suits him. It doesn’t have to mean that this type of man will cheat on his girlfriend or wife, but that he’ll flirt live or via text messages. He adores sexual advances, so he feels superior and more masculine.
We can also classify that in the category of cheating. Sexual messages to another person can be a scam. However, such a man needs attention, nice compliments, and attention. It feeds him and it fuels him, whether he’s in a committed relationship or not.
We can also call this man with great self-confidence Mr. Charming.
Mr. Charming sees the affair as a reward for his sympathetic, irresistible, personality. He has an inherent playboy personality, marked by a tendency to flirt with women and generally maintain an affinity with them. If you’re in a relationship with one, remember the first days of your relationship. Did being with this man make you feel like you were dating a player ?.
So, is it possible that someone loves you and still cheats on you? Mr. Charming is an example of an affirmative answer. For him, cheating isn’t a reflection of a state of marriage or sexual relationship, but a way to prove to himself that he’s still attractive and that women love him.
Among men who have affairs, he’s the type of man who cheats but stays in a relationship with his primary partner. This feeds his ego. Girls, watch out! This is the worst type of man. Everything seems to be okay, but he’s hiding the other side of the story.
How are most affairs discovered?
How are most scandals revealed?
Statistically, most scandals will naturally disappear at any time from 6 months to two years after onset. However, this isn’t always the case.
Most just go along, minding their own life, and come to a conclusion one way or another (which is an embarrassing read for any mistress who has fallen for the lie of a married man.)
While many people admit that they would cheat if they were guaranteed they would never get caught, it’s realistic that most people will eventually find out about the affair.
It can take a while as the majority of people reveal themselves during a third affair. In fact, it can take an average of four years to expose a partner’s cheating.
Most men are stumped by technology. Male cheaters are most often discovered because of their phones that contain inappropriate text messages or sexy shots. Girls are curious, and of course it’s just a matter of time before she finds out.
What are the warning signs of a cheater?
Depending on the type of guy, the signs that he’s cheating will be a little different.
Having said that, there are some generally accepted signs to watch out for that can signal that a man is cheating on you:
- There was a break in communication all of a sudden.
- He changes his appearance, tries harder, and starts to dress better, but not for you.
- He starts spending more time outside the home on new hobbies, other activities, or starts working late.
- You feel a change in his behavior. He may act stressed, more argumentative, more angry, more nervous, or more critical.
- He starts lying, hiding things from you, or avoiding you.
- He’s no longer telling you the truth.
- He’s withdrawn or indifferent to you and the relationship.
- Your sex life has changed recently and it’s practically gone. It’s weird to you because it’s never been that way.
- He starts behaving more secretively or suspiciously with technology. He’s taking private phone calls, trying to hide messages, blocking you on his social media, or clearing his browser history. These are the red flags of social media.
- You discover money transactions and spending that don’t make sense to you.
- You have a strong intuitive sense that something’s going on.
Signs Of Men Who Have Multiple Affairs
Mr. Charming definitely falls into the category of men who have multiple affairs or extramarital affairs. Cheating is a form of confirmation for him. He continues to wander repeatedly, but the affair never spills over into something significant enough to make him want to leave his primary partner. He returns to his partner naturally, but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop cheating. He can be categorized as a typical serial cheater. His actions only show that he needs it in order to continue to love himself.
In addition, since he does his charm, there’s a good chance that he’ll successfully win you over after he cheated on you and convince you that you’re the only one he loves. He states that it will not happen again, except it does. To save yourself from this vicious circle that your partner cheats on you over and over again, here are a few signs of men having more affairs that you need to watch out for. It doesn’t have to mean that everyone is like that, but read on.
- Flirting: Among the first signs of cheating is the tendency to flirt undisturbed with other women in front of you. Or when a female passes by you, he’s simply not looking, but staring.
- No empathy: He shows a lack of empathy in the relationship and doesn’t see how his ways of flirting affect you. Even if you tell him that his flirting with other women makes you uncomfortable or insecure, chances are he will keep doing it even more. He can’t go against it.
- Disarming Charm: When you suspect him of cheating or catch him cheating on you, he disarms you with his charm. He promises that you’re “the one” for him and assures you that you have nothing to worry about. However, he continues with his ways of cheating.
- Suspicious routine: Maybe he spends a lot of time with someone much younger than him. He has a person next to him whom he calls a “friend.”
What are the Types of Affairs?
The phrase “until death do us part” is broken. However, it’s not as simple as pointing a finger at who the perpetrator is and who the victim is when an affair happens.
Like many things in marriage, an affair is rarely black and white. Relationships are so complicated that the nuances will always hide the reasons why one spouse decides to cheat. It’s just like that.
This doesn’t justify the affair as if it were okay. It’s simply a means of digging deeper into why things are happening at all. Part of the “why” is understanding that not all things are the same. People are different, so are their reasons and perceptions for cheating. It’s sometimes normal for such people. Some people don’t see a problem in these things.
Understanding these reasons can be the key to healing and staying in a relationship. Or, it can be a way to heal after you break up and leave the relationship.
We bring several “types” of affairs to help you try to unravel the mysteries of infidelity. If you’re involved in an affair, identifying with one of these types can give you a better insight into your own behavior or the behavior of your spouse.
Let’s look at the most common types of affairs:
1. An emotional affair that isn’t physical
It can start as just a “special friendship” with a colleague, co-workers, a childhood friend, or with anyone quite “accidentally”. However, in the end, that friendship can turn into something more emotionally intimate.
You may be especially vulnerable if your existing marriage is on the rocks or you don’t get the emotional connection at home as much as you need to. In a marriage in which your spouse quickly points out your shortcomings, an emotional affair can support you while a friend showers you with compliments that instead highlight your strengths.
Many people think that just because physical sex drive isn’t involved, that the affair isn’t actually happening. The “techniques” of the absence of sex reveal the real problem of intimacy provided by an emotional affair. Emotional relationships are born out of a basic human need for affection and admiration. Emotional affairs satisfy those needs. It’s a deception, maybe worse than sexual, because it lasts a long time. It’s not just the satisfaction of physical needs at a certain moment.
People in an emotional affair can also become resentful at the suggestion that the affair takes place with a best friend who happens to be someone of the opposite sex.
2. The romantic affair that comes with attachment
When people think about traditional affairs, this is generally the type of affair they identify that with.
A romantic relationship stems from the fact that one spouse has an intense attraction to the other person. So much so that they believe they’ve fallen in love and can’t control their emotions.
Friendships can turn into romantic affairs over time, or they can simply be cases of “love at first sight” accompanied by a current infatuation. This replaces what may be ambivalence in a current marriage or a marriage that has become obsolete over time. With their current partner, the person didn’t experience as much romance as with their other “option”. Romance can’t be avoided, it’s in us already. It only manifests when a person feels to whom you can allow such a feeling.
A person may be willing to replace a romantic relationship with guilt at the cost of harming a stingy marriage.
3. Love affair
There’s a difference between love and sexual addiction, and that means there are two different types of sex addiction affair.Although love affairs involve sex, coercion and obsession are focused on the relationship rather than physical interaction. You could also call this the eternal search for “that,” soul mate, or Mr. or Mrs. Right.
The problem is that it’s quite impossible to maintain the intensity of emotions that occur in the initial stages of a relationship.
Such affairs happen more often with those who are indifferent to their marriages. They’re usually not able to rationally assess the shortcomings of the partner in the affair, or if they do, they tend to underestimate what those shortcomings are. Such people think that it’s easier to turn to a new person than to solve problems with the current partner.
A love addict will often complain about the lack of love in their current marriage and may even admit that they married the wrong person. In some cases, they may be fine with their marriage, but they feel they can do better and just want to.
4. Revenge affair
Have you heard the phrase, “don’t be angry, settle accounts”? In this type of affair, it’s modified to “get angry and settle accounts”.
Marital relationships that take the form of revenge or retaliation against the current spouse can be dangerous. This is because there’s often an element of ensuring that a spouse in an affair lets the other spouse know that he or she has been cheated on. Then, what else can a person do but take revenge? It can be done with anyone.
As you can guess, this can lead to ugly separations and controversial divorces. Nothing good can come of it.
Regardless of the situation, revenge scandals always boil down to the other spouse paying for it with pain. A spouse will no longer play by any rules. As well, if their self-esteem is compromised, a revenge affair is the perfect way to feel better knowing someone else wants them.
The problem is that revenge scandals have just the opposite effect. You feel worse after an affair like this, not better. In essence, this is a case of “two injustices do no good.” It’s not a solution to go down to the same level and do the same things as your partner. You’re better than that.
Most other types of affairs aren’t done intentionally to hurt the other spouse. In fact, many times a spouse will try to avoid a discovery that would lead to a devastating emotional blow to their spouse.
How to deal with a partner who is lying?
In most cases, even when you face your partner with accusations of cheating, it will be denied. Unless you have solid evidence or irrefutable evidence, many people won’t admit infidelity.
There are several ways you can know if your spouse is lying. If you constantly get denials and rejections while trying to discuss your concerns with your partner, you may need to seek professional help to resolve things. You may sometimes feel like you have a personality disorder, because the heartbreak isn’t exactly the best feeling.
Unfaithfulness isn’t easy to survive. If you need help, a couples counselor will be a neutral advocate and can help you gain insight into what exactly is going on in your marriage. This is always your best solution. Maybe the situation will improve. It’s important to take care of your mental health.