As I sat down to write this piece I thought, well the answer to the question “Does he like me or my body?” is simple. Men, by the nature of the ‘Y’ chromosome are visually stimulated. So more often than not and especially with men under 27, the initial attraction is driven by physical appearance. But the answer is more complicated. Physical appearance matters, but so do pheromones; a chemical found in humans, animals and yes, even insects, that drive attraction, arousal and the urge to procreate.
But are we just creatures of our chemistry? I mean you hear about these couples that are still getting it on after 40 years of marriage and well, really there isn’t much physically attractive left after a certain age. Even a good body falls victim to gravity and aging. Is it the pheromones still at play or is it a deep seeded love and interest nurtured over time? I can’t say for sure, but this I do know.
Does he like me or my body – the birds and the bees
When I was 18, wondering does he only want me sexually, my two ex-marine cousins sat me down and gave me the straight talk about guys (complete with examples that I can’t share online). And this is what they told me.
- Most guys want one thing and they will say almost anything to get it. This doesn’t make men bad. They are beholden to their hormones.
- Guys judge other guys by the women they are with. The ranking is body, face, common interest, personality, money, in that order. This can change with maturity and influence.
- Peer group has a lot of influence on choice and behavior. This explains why some guys will behave differently with their friends than they would with you or family
This doesn’t mean that the person you are interested in doesn’t like you for you. This is information to help you understand that men and women think differently. Not ‘good’ different or ‘bad’ different. Simply different.
After all, liking someone for their body is just as legit as liking someone because you enjoy the same music or they make you laugh or you have great sex together. It just cannot be the only thing driving the relationship because another ‘body’ will come along soon enough.
If you are looking for something longer lasting, then it is best to know where your guy stands.
The top 5 tell-tale signs that your guy may just be interested in your body.
- You don’t do much outside of sex and/or the sex is very one-sided.
- The conversation runs dry quickly and/or is very one-sided.
- He introduces you to friends, but in a way that is uncomfortable and makes you feel objectified.
- He is ready to bounce if the promise of sex is gone.
- He seems to be open to meeting other people, even when he is with you.
Does he only want me sexually?
What kind of compliments does he give you? If he only appreciates your appearance and goes on how terrific you look, that’s a red light. You want him to find you sexy, but you also know you have a lot more to offer. Men who are interested in having a relationship with you will compliment your intelligence, personality and values. Not only your lips, hair or body.
If every conversation you have turns sexual, there’s another red light. Even though it is OK to have a healthy sexuality, there are other aspects of life you might want to share with him.
Did he ever give you a gift? If he gave you a gift, does that mean he likes you for real? You can read about that in this “He bought me a gift, does he like me?” article.
Does he ever send you romantic messages? Or ask you how you feel? Or how your projects are coming along. This is a big one. Men that only want you sexually will rarely get into deeper, more intimate topics.
Character-revealing moment within 90 days!
Now as a highly-verbal female I’m inclined to ask a lot of questions. Please resist this tactic! Follow this advice instead. Within three months of meeting someone, there will be a character-revealing moment. A moment shown in a choice, action, or conversation that tells you more about that person than they are willing to admit or know about themselves.
This includes their motivation and reason for being with you. Even the best hustler has a moment. Just be observant, wait for it and trust your gut when you see it.