Are you wondering what it means to be friends with benefits and how to deal with them? Friendship’s a beautiful thing, but it also comes with certain responsibilities and consequences. We all choose our friends according to our needs and habits. As well, when we enter into any relationship, we need to give up some things. That’s how it works in any relationship, even in a friendship. It’s a give and take kind of agreement.
Compromise
No matter how well you get connected and how deep your feelings are, the person across from you has expectations and needs too. If you want your friendship to work, you need to meet those expectations. For some people this isn’t a big problem. However, some people have a really hard time giving up on some things which creates a problem. In this process, it’s hard for these people to compromise on things.
You should be able to make your friends happy
We need to give others a chance to express themselves. One way that we can do this is to ask them what they need to be happy. So, if you want to keep your friends, you need to make them satisfied in your relationship with them. What that will look like depends on your personality and the reasons you entered that relationship in the first place. It’s assumed that both of you have the same interests and wishes. So it shouldn’t be hard for the two of you to be on the same page and have fun with each other all the time.
Real friends have same wishes and interests
However, if you and your friend have different interests, you should think again if they’re the right friend for you. After all, what’s the point of having friends you can’t have fun with? Do you really want to be with someone where every moment’s a struggle and every conversation ends up in a misunderstanding? We can’t choose some things in life, but we certainly can choose our friends. That’s what friendship stands for. Friendship’s about people who like each other and enjoy spending time together. However, there are some other kinds of friendship, too. Some people enter some relationships with a hidden motive. They’re not looking for someone they like for who they are and enjoy spending time with them. They look for a convenient partnership which will bring them more than just a good time.
Friends with plain interests are called “Friends with benefits”
Those people need other things like fame, glory, and sometimes material benefits. They don’t like you because of who you are. They may like some benefits that go with your companionship and that’s why they’re in your company. That’s why they’re called “Friends with benefits“. In the partnerships they’re entering, they’re not looking for anything but benefits.
Friends with benefits aren’t around when you really need them
You should be aware of those kinds of people, because they can cause you a lot of misery in the end. Sometimes it’s not easy to recognize their intentions at the beginning. However, as time goes by, you will notice things that are alarming and which indicate what these people want. The first, and most important sign, is that they’re not around when you really need them.
So, how do friends with benefits work?
Well, these people are constantly asking things from you, but you can’t have the same in return. That can hardly be called friendship. As a result, those kinds of people leave you stranded in hard times. It’s more like an agreement in which you’re standing alone in the end. That can be shocking and heartbreaking, but you can escape it.
It’s important to know how to survive them
An Important thing is to know how to recover from being in a “Friends with benefits” relationship. After the first shock and realization of what they’re all about, you should try to calm yourself down. It’s a good idea to tell yourself “Well, people like that don’t deserve me stressing so much over them“. Also tell yourself “They don’t deserve my tears.” When you succeed in doing this, your recovery can begin.
You will survive
It’s not easy to lose friends, especially if you cared about them too much. Maybe you thought the world about them and now you’re left paralized and shocked after your breakup. However, reality is something else and we need to know how to survive a broken heart. After you tell yourself all those things, what they deserve or not, try to occupy yourself with some activities and other people.
Don’t overthink the situation
Don’t think about them too much anymore. Don’t waste time considering their reasons and intentions. You will just give yourself unnecessary pain and heartache. Like at the end of any relationship, move on. Occupy yourself with things you like to do, and with other people in your life. Spend all your free time with people who love you and don’t let the memories and nostalgia interfere with your new plans.
If you were looking for some temporary relationship, you won’t be hurt
On the other hand, if you’re one of those people who approaches everything with ease, you won’t be affected by the fact that those people were there for just plain interest. If you were looking just for fun too, and someone to spend your free time with, this situation won’t result in a big problem for you. You will admit to yourself that you were there for some interests too, so it wouldn’t be fair to be mad at them or feel hurt by their intentions.
Friend with benefits and how to deal with them-Be honest and move away
You will have to decide if you will stay in contact with them or not, and you will have to behave according to that decision. Maybe they don’t want to stay in contact with you after everything. However, this situation is good as there’s no drama or broken hearts. Just different people going separate ways, away from each other. You should all be honest with each other and move on.
If you’re happy with your arrangement, then stay
However, maybe you will discover that you’re happy with that kind of arrangement, so you will stay together for a while. After all, why not? Not every friendship should be based on serious emotions and intentions. As long as you have a good time together, who cares how deep your feelings are? They just have to be deep enough not to hurt someone intentionally, and to be open about your interests. Those kinds of friendships are ones that people have the most fun in anyway. No one has big expectations so both partners are free and relaxed around each other, No one gets hurt that easily.
Types of friendships
That’s the main difference between some friendships, and some relationships. Some go deep, and some are superficial. The first one we can’t let go that easily but the second one goes away like it never happened. We all probably have been in both kinds of these relationships, so we shouldn’t be surprised by their outcome.
All we need to learn is to take a deep breath, and move on.
Nothing lasts forever, not even friendships. So, does “Friends with benefits” work? Yes, under some conditions, and for some people. However, nothing’s forever, not even friendship. Especially friendship that comes out of benefit intentions. So there’s no use in regretting it that much. Of course, you will be sad if that relationship meant so much to you. However, time heals everything, and we will probably meet some new friends which will mean more to us. You will never know. The important thing is to keep going on with your life, and don’t turn back.
Be honest
It’s also important to not let yourself be one of those people who hide their intentions right to the end. Even in the case that you’re in a relationship with the same type of behaviour, don’t be like that. Try to apply your intentions carefully and don’t lead anyone on. Honesty’s the best policy, and that stands for every relationship especially with “Friends with benefits” and how to deal with them.
Also, it’s important not to lose faith in friendship. When they’re hurt, people tend to strain and isolate themselves, but that’s wrong. Of course you need some time to recover from loss, but don’t isolate yourself, and reach for company whenever you can. That way you will find someone you will want to spend your free time with again, and you will recover faster. You might even make a new friend.