There’s no easy way to say or explain this, but learning how to have a casual relationship without getting hurt is extremely difficult. Some people never make it happen, no matter how much they think they can. Sometimes a person you really want to be with gets in your way regardless of your potential suffering. That feeling could prompt you to do something you would advise someone else not to do. For example, engaging in a casual relationship that has no chance, just to spend time with that person. We don’t want you to be unnecessarily hurt in a casual relationship.
Casual relationship basics
You need to learn how to have a casual relationship without getting hurt, but know that it’s an extremely difficult thing to do. Of course, you can tell yourself that they will change their mind. They will want to be with you when they get to know you properly and the rest. This rarely happens. We’re not going to say it never happens because somewhere in the world it probably happened once or twice. However, this conclusion is more like the exception than the rule. Trying to create a casual relationship is a very common situation. In fact, most people have been in it at some point. The thing is, casual relationships require a certain amount of strength and emotional control. Otherwise, you risk getting hurt.
Wait, what does a casual relationship mean?
There are many different variations of casual relationships and everyone imagines it differently, but basically, it includes two people who aren’t committed to each other completely. You may or may not be exclusive. However, in any case, there are no expectations on either side, at least there shouldn’t be. This is certainly not considered a connection.
The main problem
The problem is that most of the time in casual dating one person prefers another person over anyone else. There must always be that other person who’s developing feelings in a casual relationship. Maybe they’ll even love them. It’s a recipe for disaster because it’s possible that the other person literally just wants a ‘no obligation’ situation. Spending a lot of time with someone, and even sleeping with them, doesn’t mean they’ll suddenly change their mind and want to be in a committed relationship with you. Of course, this isn’t the case in all random situations. However, if you’re someone who got into a situation with no intention but your feelings start to awaken, it won’t end well.
How to have a casual relationship without getting hurt … hopefully
Before we get into this, here and now we want to say that following these steps doesn’t mean that you will avoid any kind of emotional trouble. Casual relationships are difficult if you develop feelings. That is our disclaimer, let’s investigate a little more now.
- Understand what you’re getting into from the very beginning of that relationship.
Know your starting point so you can deal with this type of relationship. That’s what it is, an agreement that means spending time with someone, without the promise of emotional attachment. Talk to yourself well and be firm in your knowledge that this isn’t the beginning of a great love affair. No matter how clean you’re with yourself, there are some things you can’t influence, so you have to be careful.
- Get to know yourself – can you deal with it without developing feelings?
Rule number one about how to have a casual relationship without hurting yourself is to know yourself. If you’re sure you can handle it and that feelings won’t come into the equation, keep going. If you’re unsure, approach with great caution.
- Ask yourself if you could bear to see them with someone else
If you were out for a walk and you ran into them with another person, how would you feel? Will it expel air from your lungs? Just try to imagine it. After all, that person has the right to do that, right? If you see a situation like that, know that they’re not doing anything wrong because they’re not solely committed to you. Casual means no obligations. So how would you feel about that?
“You can’t we are not designed like that. Unless your both damaged. Be honest and up front make sure both have a clear understanding and explain exist strategies. Because someone WILL CATCH FEELINGS.” Anonymous Quora
- Keep your meetings to a minimum
What you consider to be your minimum is up to you. It’s good to limit how often you see that person, to avoid the feelings that might arise. A few times a week is certainly enough, but less if you can handle it is good too. Let it be up to you, don’t make yourself feel drawn in any way. Generally speaking, the more time you spend with someone, the more likely you’re to develop an attachment on an emotional level to them.
- Make everything as easy as possible
It’s not the best idea to talk to your occasional “partner” or friend about emotional things or anything difficult going on in your life. If you do, you’re entering emotional territory that signals danger to your feelings. Make everything easy and fun, and if you can do it, this arrangement could prove to be a welcoming distraction from the harder things in life that are happening to you. As soon as you feel the need to share everything with that person, you unconsciously or consciously deepen your relationship.
“It is possible only, If the rules of the games are defined and clearly followed by both the partners”. Anonymous Quora
Is an occasional date always bad?
Not at all! We may have painted ordinary joints in a negative light, but that’s only because we want you to learn how to go out on a joint this way without getting hurt. Emotions are very sensitive things and happen without warning.
However, for those who just want something casual and fun in their life, for now, casual outings can be a great option. It allows you to spend fun time with someone you appreciate and have a very good time. Just know that this won’t turn into a great love affair. Know that at some point it will end.
In conclusion
Understanding how to have a casual relationship without getting hurt actually comes down to one basic rule. That rule is to get to know yourself and your limits. Be honest, open, and don’t hope for more than promised. Think of yourself and remember that someone can develop feelings in a casual relationship unexpectedly.