Hypocrisy – how to deal with two-faced people is probably something we all encountered during our life. Some people are just not honest at all. As well, the same people are usually inconsistent too. You can’t count on them to act the same all the time. That means that they don’t react with the same integrity in different situations or with different people. They’re led by their affinities and they can’t be objective. They might be this way on purpose, or it could just be their nature. If they like something or someone better, they ignore you and your feelings. This can be hurtful, but that’s the best way to discover them.
You can’t count on them and trust them to be there for you, or on your side when you need them. They will bale on you when you least expect them to. They will take someone else’s side and probably just shut you out. A hypocrite’s morals are probably questionable. They make their decisions as they go and they don’t attach to others permanently.
It’s easy for them to go from one situation to another without serious consequences. They don’t care about anyone special, so it’s easy for them to move on and leave people out in the cold. Due to a lack of conscience and morals, hypocrites don’t feel guilt or shame for their actions so it can be really devastating to be in contact with these kinds of people. Betrayal hurts, but these people don’t care about that.
If you didn’t notice or recognize them in the beginning, and you put your trust in them, you can be really crushed by their behavior. If you get hurt by this, they will completely ignore your feelings, or they will act like they don’t understand why you’re so offended. So there you are, trying to process what they did, and they’re already attacking you for feeling the way you do.
The fact you need to know is that those kinds of people don’t change. Don’t hope that it is a one time thing and that you can build a relationship with them. They don’t do relationships or at least the type of relationships we know. They go from one person to another, depending on their interests. So, to save yourself from unnecessary pain and trauma, it’s important to recognize them and learn how to deal with them.
If you find yourself in a situation where you have them as your friends, you will probably be hurt and you can’t escape that. Those kinds of things aren’t something that you can discover immediately, so you need to learn how to survive it. In the beginning of a friendship, things are usually great and you don’t notice certain types of behavior. However, as soon as you get deeper in the relationship and find yourself in some important situations, you will discover their personality.
- Gossip about a friend who isn’t present.
- Compliment the same person when they’re present.
- Make fun of almost everyone they know because they have no respect for anyone.
- If you have to decide where to go out or what you’re going to do that day, they will choose something you never would.
- They stood you up for meetings regularly.
- They don’t keep their promises.
- They change their minds a lot, without a good reason.
- They make rules as they go.
- They usually have other friends beside you.
All of these facts are reasons that they can’t be trusted so you eventually become very uncomfortable around them. Your trust starts to fade and you begin to ask yourself why you’re still in their company. Why have a friend you can’t be with when you need them? Or why have a friend who regularly stands you up and hangs out with someone else? Is that a friendship anymore? No, of course it’s not.
Stop deceiving yourself. Try to find a way to get out of that kind of relationship. If you cared about them, it probably won’t be an easy thing to do, but you have to do it. There’s no point holding on to that kind of relationship. As soon as you realize that, it won’t be hard for you to decide what to do.
To start, the best thing is to stop asking them out, or reaching for their company. You probably don’t see each other that much anyway so it won’t be a big change for you. Second, don’t respond to their calls. You will probably be tempted because you miss them, but it will be just an unnecessary prolonging that leads to an inevitable end. They’re probably calling you because they have nothing better to do at that moment. So why do you need that in your life? Be strong and say no.
As soon as you manage to reduce your contact with them and stop seeing them, you will be able to focus on other things in your life. This can include other people. Start thinking about making new friends and try to forget all about them as soon as possible. That’s the best solution in this kind of situation. You won’t be sad that much either because they probably put you through some kind of hell with their behavior. It actually will be some kind of relief for you. Bad people and bad emotions make us feel heavy and poisoned, so the lack of their presence feels liberating and refreshing. As soon as you notice that kind of behavior, start thinking about leaving. Don’t let yourself spend a minute more than necessary, and start thinking about something else.
Hypocrites with their moral hypocrisy, don’t ever think they did something wrong so maybe they will ask you for an explanation. Don’t let yourself get into that kind of conversation and don’t try to justify yourself. They actually don’t need your reasons, they just want an excuse for themselves. Just leave, end the phone call, or whatever you were doing at that moment. They won’t chase you, so you will be free.
So hypocrisy-how to deal with two-faced people isn’t that easy to do, but it’s possible with time. As time goes by and you get life experience, you will also learn how to recognize hypocrisy and how to deal with it. You will learn to notice good intentions from bad ones, and you will know how to act on them. Also, you will learn not to take it so emotionally and you will proceed with your life, not thinking about it that much anymore. After all, what’s the point in holding on to people like that, their moral hypocrisy, and to their behavior? If you’re not important enough to someone for them to appreciate you, and not to hurt you on purpose, why would you seek their company? You should respect yourself enough to let go of those kinds of people and distance yourself from them. It might be hard for you to do that, but you need to be strong. Remind yourself why you’re doing it, over and over again. Surround yourself with people who will appreciate your company, and who will love to spend their time with you rather than with someone else.