When there’s jealousy in relationships, it’s hard to manage. Jealousy doesn’t only come in romantic relationships, but also in friendships, family, or anywhere else. Jealousy isn’t something you should feel ashamed of. You can use it to improve yourself. When you recognize and accept that you want to change something, it’s a good beginning.
Jealousy vs envy
Most people say feelings of jealousy are them same as feelings of envy, but that’s not true. The difference is that when you’re jealous, you see something as an obstacle so that you can get love from someone. On the other hand, envy’s when you want something that belongs to someone else. Remember, every emotion that you think isn’t good can be fixed.
Where do you get jealousy from?
There are many explanations for why you’re feeling jealous. One of the most common reasons is that your partner gives you a reason to trigger your jealousy. That one’s the hardest to deal with because it includes two people to work on that problem. If you find yourself in this situation, talk with your partner immediately and tell them about it. The second reason can be your imagination. Sometimes, we see something that doesn’t exist at all. Try to consider all factors and understand that you’re not always right. Imagining things can be really bad and hard to get rid of. However, if you really want it, you can achieve it. The third possible explanation for why you constantly feel jealous is because of your past. If you constantly think about some bad situations from the past, you will feel bad all the time. Try to leave all those situations when you felt jealous because of someone in the past. You live in the present and give yourself a chance for a fresh start with your new partner without bad experiences from your previous partners.
“And for some people, a mildly jealous partner is a partner who cares.”
Jealousy in relationships – Signs of jealousy
This can be serious if you notice that it affects your everyday activities. You start imagining things that didn’t even happen and you stop trusting anyone. Some of the unhealthy signs of jealousy in relationships are: insulting your partner without any reason, telling them that they had never loved you, accusing them of lying even though you don’t have any evidence, or something similar to this.
Jealousy in relationships – Steps to deal with jealousy
Admitting your problem
The most important step if you want to deal with jealousy is admitting to yourself that you’re too jealous. Don’t judge yourself and think you’re a bad person because of that. Jealousy isn’t something weird, it’s an emotion, and all people feel it sometime in their life. If you’re not facing your emotions and you don’t like them, there’s a big possibility that you will also start denying other feelings. Even though you think that jealousy isn’t socially acceptable, try not to think about it. If it’s important to you, that’s all you need. Just tell yourself that your feelings are important to you. Everything takes time. You can’t get over it over night.
Work with it with the right person
When we have a problem, all of us sometimes start talking about it to the wrong person. At those moments, everyone’s vulnerable and maybe doesn’t notice that someone’s not as confidential as we think. Try to talk to your partner, the person who makes you feel jealous. Tell them how you feel, talk about your emotions, and ask them if they do it on purpose. Be open about it, and don’t make them feel attacked.
Face everything unsaid before
This will surely be hard, but you have to face everything that you have never said before. If you had some situations that had an impact on your previous relationships but you have never faced it, it will affect current relationships and friendships. When you identify what bothers you, try to find out what that emotion’s trying to tell you, or why did you start feeling like that. Try to find out what exactly changed your partner’s behavior. When you answer all of these questions to yourself, you’re ready to plan what to do next.
When you feel jealous, you can do something that maybe you don’t want to do, but in that condition with mixed emotions, you think it’s the correct move. Try to control yourself in these situations. Give yourself time to calm down. Breathe deep and relax.
Jealousy in relationships – How to get over jealousy?
When you feel jealous, it’s a moment you think you can never get over. However, it can be healed like everything else. You just have to be ready to deal with your problem. Be open about it with your partner. If you show your partner that you are ready to overcome it, they will give you their full support. When talking about your problem, don’t justify your actions. If you want to overcome it, you have to deal with it and be ready to accept that you were wrong. Also, don’t accuse anyone, it will look like you’re only trying to excuse your actions. Most importantly, speak from your heart. When you’re being fully honest about your problems, everyone will notice that. If you try to lie and be confrontational, no one will listen to you. Remember, it’s okay to talk about any problem, and consider it as a chance to grow your relationship and yourself. Also, you can always talk with a family therapist about your problems.
“Don’t feed the green-eyed monster.”
Use jealousy in a good way
Jealousy in relationships can be with reason. Unhealthy jealous behavior happens when our partner makes us feel suspicious because of his actions. In every good relationship, both partners expect the highest respect and loyalty from the other person. If they don’t get everything they expect, their love can convert to jealousy. If you ever come to this situation, talk with your partner. Communication is a key to success for everyone who wants to be in a healthy relationship. Be open with each other, and try not to talk with anyone else about it before you talk with them. Emotional intelligence is the secret of lasting relationships. Show each other how much you love and respect each other. Try to use jealousy in relationships for good.