Many lovers far from each other suffer from long distance relationship depression. After all, we’ve all heard how long distance relationships are never a good idea. “Long distance never works,” or, “don’t do long distance, it’s just a time bomb to your inevitable break-up,” or even, “better end it now before it does in a couple months.”
It gets to you. It lowers both your and your SO’s morale. The rainclouds are hanging over your heads, and the odds are stacked against you. But it’s not the end of the world. After all, you’re with somebody you love who loves you back, and both of you want to make this work. And despite your optimism and your dedication, you will still experience your bad days.
So how do you deal with them?
Getting through Long Distance Relationship Depression
Getting through your LDR depression requires that both of you work together to come out the other end stronger. You have to have strong communication with your significant other. Talk about your day, how you felt waking up in the morning, what you had for lunch, what meme your friend texted you, what plans you might have over the weekend. Ask them how they feel about cooking rice with a rice cooker as opposed to in a pot, or what fish would sound like if they could talk like humans. Drive conversation and keep learning about one another, the important thing is to be present as you would in-person.
And it’s not just about talking, it’s about opening up.
Long distance relationship depression is a state that can be overcome with openness and communication. You’re not physically near one another, so they can’t read your body language, and you can’t read theirs. Make up for the lack of visual cues by being present emotionally. Talk about your feelings as honestly as you can, even if they’ve been said before in conversation. Be honest with yourself and your SO. Open up and share whatever anxieties and frustrations you are feeling. Expressing yourself connects you with your significant other, even more now since you’re far away. It’ll help alleviate some of your anxieties knowing you’re both probably feeling the same way. And if they don’t, chances are they can get you out of your rut with their help.
“Ask them how they feel about cooking rice with a rice cooker as opposed to in a pot, or what fish would sound like if they could talk like humans.”
Long distance depression: Spark the life in your relationship!
Obviously, it really helps getting to visit them as often as possible. For couples living near enough to one another, say a few hours’ drive or a reasonably priced flight away, schedule a weekend every so often to meet. It’ll give you something to look forward to. Now, instead of counting the days you’ve been away, you’re counting down to the day you get to see them. It sparks life in the relationship and chases LDR depression away. You get to plan your next visit, what you’re going to do, maybe even talk about meeting at a halfway point and seeing new parts of the country.
You can argue couples living very far away from each other don’t have this luxury, and I won’t argue against that, But it does make it all the more sweeter to accomplish.
Use this as an opportunity to better your lifestyle and make smarter decisions. If you’re able to, cut down on any expenses that aren’t necessary. Eventually, you’ll save up enough funds (and vacations days,) to afford a trip to see your SO. The reward will be so much more worth it because of all the hard work you put into achieving this goal for the both of you. It gives you something to look forward to, you’ll likely develop a healthier lifestyle, and your SO will appreciate you that much more.
However, be prepared for developing a bit of a long distance relationship depression after visit ended. But it will pass because the bond with your partner will be fortified.
Maintain trust, ease worries and disperse doubts
Regardless of your ability to see your partner in person, you still want to see them as much as possible. Aside from calling and texting, set up a time (or times) in the day when you can video call your partner. More importantly, commit to them as though you were going over to their house or vice versa. This is your time to be together, and you’ll want to setup a routine that works for the both of you. This is especially true if your partner lives in a different time zone than yourself. Your time together is more limited, and that much more precious.
The idea is to see each other as often as possible, Of course, some commitments may take precedence at times. Maybe an important work function, doctor’s appointment, or a birthday, but the point still stands. You’re maintaining trust by seeing each other so often. You’re quelling whatever doubt may come to mind by not being around you all the time. After all, it’s only natural to wonder what your partner may be doing offline, Ease their worries, and be together when you can.
Heat things up to chase the long distance relationship depression away!
You don’t even need to have something to talk about to be on video. Again, treat it as though you are in the same place. Play your game, make your dinner, tend to your hobbies. There are apps and browser extensions that synchronize your favorite streaming websites so you can watch something together. And don’t be afraid to heat things up either. Who says you can’t be intimate with your long distance partner? It’s just the two of you, so explore your options and have some fun.
Plan a few surprises if you can, too. Surprise visits almost always end in joy (unless, say, they’re swamped with work and can’t give you the attention you want/they want to give you.) Care packages are another great option. Send them a handwritten letter or scrapbook of your favorite moments together. Maybe get them their favorite snacks, or even one of your sweaters. Your sense of smell is one of the strongest senses you have. Having something of yours with them will surely help them during their low days.
Long distance relationship depression – you are not alone!
In every LDR, at least sometimes, one or both of the partners think: my long distance relationship is making me depressed. In days when your LDR depression hits the hardest, you’ll appreciate having something of theirs with you. And when that’s not enough, reach out to them. A simple text message will probably lift their spirits, knowing you’re thinking about them. Remember, you’re not alone in this. You’re both in it together. And many other people are going through a similar experience, too. Long distance relationship depression comes to all stranded lovers, sometimes.
Of course, every relationship is different, but every single one of them is also experiencing the joys and hardships of a long distance relationship. If you need a space to vent or connect with others, the Internet is a great way to meet other LDR couples. Who knows, you might learn something new!