Many lovers far from each other suffer from long distance relationship depression. After all, we’ve all heard how long distance relationships are never a good idea. “Long distance never works,” or, “don’t do long distance, it’s just a hard time to your inevitable break-up,” or even, “better end it now before it does in a couple months.”
It gets to you. It lowers both your and your SO’s morale. The rainclouds are hanging over your heads, and the odds are stacked against you. But it’s not the end of the world. After all, you’re with somebody you love who loves you back, and both of you want to make this long distance relationship work. And despite your optimism and your dedication, you will still experience your bad days.
So how do you deal with them?
Together.
Getting through Long Distance Relationship Depression
Getting through your LDR depression requires that both of you work together to come out the other end stronger. You have to have strong communication with your significant other. Talk about your day on facetime how you felt waking up in the morning, what you had for lunch, what meme your best friend texted you, what plans you might have over the weekend. Ask them how they feel about cooking rice with a rice cooker as opposed to in a pot, or what fish would sound like if they could talk like humans. Drive conversation and keep learning about one another, the important thing is to be present as you would in-person.
And it’s not just about talking, it’s about opening up.
Long distance relationship depression is a state that can be overcome with openness and communication. You’re not physically near one another, so they can’t read your body language, and you can’t read theirs. Make up for the lack of visual cues by being present emotionally. Talk about your feelings as honestly as you can, even if they’ve been said before in conversation. Be honest with yourself and your SO. Open up and share whatever anxieties and frustrations you are feeling. Expressing yourself connects you with your significant other, even more now since you’re far away. It’ll help alleviate some of your anxieties knowing you’re both probably feeling the same way. And if they don’t, chances are they can get you out of your rut with their help.
“Ask them how they feel about cooking rice with a rice cooker as opposed to in a pot, or what fish would sound like if they could talk like humans.”
Long distance depression: Spark the life in your relationship!
Obviously, it really helps getting to visit them as often as possible. For couples living near enough to one another, say a few hours’ drive or a reasonably priced flight away, schedule a weekend every so often to meet. It’ll give you something to look forward to. Now, instead of counting the days you’ve been away, you’re counting down to the day you get to see them. It sparks whole life in the relationship and chases LDR depression away. You get to plan your next visit, what you’re going to do, maybe even talk about meeting at a halfway point and seeing new parts of the country.
You can argue long distance couples living very far away from each other don’t have this luxury, and I won’t argue against that, But it does make it all the more sweeter to accomplish.
Use this as an opportunity to better your lifestyle and make smarter decisions. If you’re able to, cut down on any expenses that aren’t necessary. Eventually, you’ll save up enough funds (and vacations days,) to afford a trip to see your SO. The reward will be so much more worth it because of all the hard work you put into achieving this goal for the both of you. It gives you something to look forward to, you’ll likely develop a healthier lifestyle, and your SO will appreciate you that much more.
However, be prepared for developing a bit of a long distance relationship problems after visit ended. But it will pass because the bond with your partner will be fortified.
Maintain trust, ease worries and disperse doubts
Regardless of your ability to see your partner in person, you still want to see them as much as possible. Aside from calling and texting, set up a time (or times) in the day when you can video call or video chat (social media – skype) your partner. More importantly, commit to them as though you were going over to their house or vice versa. This is your first time to be together, and you’ll want to setup a routine that works for the both of you. This is especially true if your partner lives in a different time zone than yourself. Spending time together is more limited, and that much more precious.
The idea is to see each other as often as possible, Of course, some commitments may take precedence at times. Maybe an important work function, doctor’s appointment, or a birthday, but the point still stands. You’re maintaining trust by seeing each other so often. You’re quelling whatever doubt may come to mind by not being around you all the time. After all, it’s only natural to wonder what your partner may be doing offline, Ease their worries, and be together when you can.
Heat things up to chase the long distance relationship depression away!
You don’t even need to have something to talk about to be on video. Again, treat it as though you are in the same place. Play your game, make your dinner, tend to your hobbies. There are apps and browser extensions that synchronize your favorite streaming websites so you can watch something together. And don’t be afraid to heat things up either. Who says you can’t be physical intimacy with your long distance partner? It’s just the two of you, so explore your options and have some fun.
Plan a few surprises if you can, too. Surprise visits almost always end in joy (unless, say, they’re swamped with work and can’t give you the attention you want/they want to give you.) Care packages are another great option. Send them a handwritten letter or scrapbook of your favorite moments together. Maybe get them their favorite snacks, or even one of your sweaters. Your sense of smell is one of the strongest senses you have. Having something of yours with them will surely help them during their low days.
7 different ways you can keep yourself mentally stable while being in a long distance relationship:
1. Your partner is not your enemy
When there is any misunderstanding or quarrel, remind yourself that your partner is not your enemy and never will be. Remind yourself that you need to solve the problem with love, kindness and understanding instead of being rude and angry.
With anger comes hatred; hatred can lead to a breakup in your relationship. Understanding and listening and the will to solve your problem are always important.
2. Learn the art of communication
Being in a relationship and maintaining it with the greatest love and happiness is art itself. What is communication? Communication is a two-way medium of thought exchange between two or more people. You just have to work on it. Peaceful communication solves everything, in peace, without hatred and anger.
There are three steps to proper communication:
Introspective:
Before you tell your partner about your problem or problem, study yourself. Ask yourself what led you to this situation, what is the main problem, what exactly do you feel; what were your mistakes; what are your partner’s mistakes.
Answer them from a neutral point of view. Put yourself in your partner’s position and ask yourself, “What would you do if you were his / her place?” Be honest with yourself as you go through this process of introspection. Honesty is the greatest virtue a man can possess, know how to use it.
3. Kind explanation
The next step is to take a deep breath and express your point of view with the utmost decency and calmness. Before you start talking to your partner, tell yourself that you need to be quiet and clear, ie. kindly explain what is bothering you.
A polite explanation will cultivate positivity in you. This will also create a positive impact on the partner’s mind and will not lead him to anxiety. Instead of saying, “I hated the way you talked to me,” say it like, “I felt bad when you talked to me in that tone, maybe you could have done it better.” What do you think we should try to solve and the like.
4. Silent listening
Be a good listener. Have your partner share his or her point of view. Try to be quiet and patient when they try to make you understand their perspective.
Try to focus completely so that he simply feels that you are listening to him and that you are completely focused on him and in that way you give the impression that you care and that you really want to solve the problem.
5.Understand and adapt
Give yourself time to figure out what your partner thinks about a particular issue or problem you have in your relationship. Compatibility grows with understanding and adaptation. Try to understand what they have made of the situation and adjust in the same way.
If you think you need more clarity, talk, we repeat, with patience and calm. Of course you will have different opinions, that is normal. In such a situation it is necessary to find another perspective from which you can try to understand and be understood.
Different people experience the same thing in different ways. There is no right or wrong in how a person interprets a situation. We have different experiences in life, we all look at a situation differently.
Based on that, we solve problems, perceive new things, choose and behave in a certain way. Also, by adapting, we form a different view of the same situation. It enriches the relationship and does not end us with negativity and despair.
6. Avoid texts
When you are in a long distance relationship, it is not always possible to make a video call from time to time. But text messaging is the worst way to resolve misunderstandings. The texts do not express the true meaning of your problem or any emotion. Eventually there is a possibility that the misunderstanding may increase, so they will both feel depressed and discouraged. That’s why it’s best to force video calls, audio messages and more.
Virtual meetings are very important
Schedule a virtual meeting every weekend. There you can face your partner, watch movies together, have dinner and play games.
7. Enjoy the space
Having your own space and not sticking to your partner all the time is a healthy way to maintain a relationship for a long time. Each person has a different perception of space. With a little mental space, you will both be able to concentrate more on your lives, work harder, not easily fall into depression and be happy.
We know that maybe you need to hear each other more and be together in every sense, but no matter how long-distance you are, you always need space, so you will come to your peace and solve things with yourself that bother you.
Another very important thing is, don’t get used to or develop the habit of giving each other some time every day. Let the time be flexible. Our mind always strives to be satisfied with a pattern. For example, you call your partner every night before bed.
This habit of yours, if you continue for a long time, can become so ingrained in you that if one night you find your partner’s phone turned off, you will suffer from anxiety or extreme irritability. Mature conversations about how not to react if someone can’t answer right away. So maybe it’s better to keep some things like talking spontaneous
Long distance relationship depression – you are not alone!
In every LDR, at least sometimes, one or both of the partners think: my long distance relationship is making me depressed. In days when your LDR depression hits the hardest, you’ll appreciate having something of theirs with you. And when that’s not enough, reach out to them. A simple text message will probably lift their spirits, knowing you’re thinking about them. Remember, you’re not alone in this. You’re both in it together. And many other people are going through a similar experience, too. Long distance relationship depression comes to all stranded lovers, sometimes.
Of course, every relationship is different, but every single one of them is also experiencing the joys and hardships of a long distance relationship. If you need a space to vent or connect with others, the Internet is a great way to meet other LDR couples or support group . Who knows, you might learn something new!
Remember :
Your mental health is important because we are aware that mental illnesses come very easily.
That’s why you have self care lot of time or finf professional help because there are also LDR that are healthy relationship
Maybe you will go through all this together, maybe the relationship will end. But if that’s the case, what you had was obviously very important and meant to you, a valued part of your lives together and it will always be something you can look back on and nurture.
But by risking that somewhat patronizing attitude of “you’re still young,” you actually have your whole life ahead of you, and sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to acknowledge what we’ve had and move on.
It’s painful, upsetting and can leave us with a sense of ‘what could I have done differently’. We can take what we have learned and apply it in the future, and maybe not make the same mistakes anymore. We hope that together you will find a way forward, but if that is not the case then new connections will be waiting for you. You just have to realize that it’s okay to admit it.
Long distance relationship depression – you are not alone!
Long distance relationship depression – you are not alone!
In every LDR, at least sometimes, one or both of the partners think: my long distance relationship is making me depressed. In days when your LDR depression hits the hardest, you’ll appreciate having something of theirs with you. And when that’s not enough, reach out to them. A simple text message will probably lift their spirits, knowing you’re thinking about them. Remember, you’re not alone in this. You’re both in it together. And many other people are going through a similar experience, too. Long distance relationship depression comes to all stranded lovers, sometimes.
Of course, every relationship is different, but every single one of them is also experiencing the joys and hardships of a long distance relationship. If you need a space to vent or connect with others, the Internet is a great way to meet other LDR couples or support group . Who knows, you might learn something new!
Remember :
Your mental health is important because we are aware that mental illnesses come very easily.
That’s why you have self care lot of time or finf professional help because there are also LDR that are healthy relationship
Maybe you will go through all this together, maybe the relationship will end. But if that’s the case, what you had was obviously very important and meant to you, a valued part of your lives together and it will always be something you can look back on and nurture.
But by risking that somewhat patronizing attitude of “you’re still young,” you actually have your whole life ahead of you, and sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to acknowledge what we’ve had and move on.
It’s painful, upsetting and can leave us with a sense of ‘what could I have done differently’. We can take what we have learned and apply it in the future, and maybe not make the same mistakes anymore. We hope that together you will find a way forward, but if that is not the case then new connections will be waiting for you. You just have to realize that it’s okay to admit it.