Dating someone with kids can be hard. Why? It depends on what kind of person you are, and of course, how do the kids get on with their father. It’s a really sensitive topic for all kids in this situation. When their dad starts dating another woman, many kids, especially little kids, think that their father’s trying to replace their mother and they don’t feel comfortable about it. So, when you meet the kids, be patient and don’t make drastic actions in your relationship. Give them time, and they will welcome you with open arms one day.
What does your partner expect from you?
Sometimes, you and your partner have a different opinion and it can get tense in your relationship because of that. You two have to sit down and talk about it. Does he want you to be their “new mom?” Does he want you to be friends with them? It’s important to talk about it the moment you start dating person with kids, especially if kids live with their father. As well, you don’t want to be involved in their lives more than they want you to be.
Dating someone with kids – What type of relationship does your partner have with his ex?
Does your partner still love his ex? Do they get along well after their divorce? These are only a few of many important questions you have to ask when dating someone with kids. Maybe you think it’s not a good idea to talk about his ex and skip this conversation. However, if you care about your relationship, it’s healthy to talk about this. You have to understand that he might owe his ex child support and alimony so they are still in contact. Maybe all of you will become friends some day, if they are separated for a long time and have normal relationship.
Before you start building your relationship and getting it onto a new level of seriousness, you have to know about this. If your partner is still not over his ex, and he’s trying to get over it by starting a new relationship, you should be aware that it’s not good for you or him. If this is true, you need to end things immediately.
Are you jealous in relationships?
If you’re a jealous person, sometimes you will be jealous of his children. Maybe you organized weekend trips, and instead of that, he goes on a trip with his children. This can cause you to make some scenarios in your head that he’s seeing his ex-wife secretly. However, if your relationship is strong enough, you should have trust that your partner is over his ex and is loyal to you. You should know that he has to spend time with his kids even though sometimes you plan something with him. One day, when it becomes serious enough, all of you will spend time together. Just be patient.
Do you love kids?
Dating a man with kids is different than when he doesn’t have kids so this question requires honesty. Maybe you think your partner is “the one“, but if you’re not ready to have kids or spend most of your day with kids, you should think one more time about your relationship. Try to talk with your partner about it and be completely honest. Give yourself a chance and see if you can imagine living like that. In the end, if you realize you’re not ready for it yet, it’s okay. It’s more important to realize that now before you start the relationship. Date someone with children if you are ready to take responsibilities of them as like you are their mother.
How much time do the kids spend with their father?
Ask your partner how much time he spends with his kids. Single parenting requires more time. Both of you need to coordinate a relationship schedule. Dating someone with kids can be harder than usual relationships because your partner isn’t available all the time and has a busier schedule than someone who doesn’t have kids.
Dating someone with kids – What will you do if the kids don’t like you?
Children are really sensitive when it comes to their relationships with their parents, especially children whose parents are divorced. No matter how good and charming you are, sometimes it’s not possible to get along well with your partner’s kids from the beginning. For them, you’re not their father’s girlfriend. You’re a stranger and they can’t trust you. If this is the case, don’t give up. It takes time to gain their trust. It can take years to gain their trust, but if you love your partner so much and you think it will be a long-term relationship, you will be patient. On the other hand, if time passes and they hate you more every day, it is a red flag that it won’t work.
Am I responsible for a child that isn’t my own?
This question is rough, but you need to think about it because it’s really important. If you think you found the love of your life, and one day you will get married, it’s normal to think about this. Would you be able to love his kids as much as your own one day? Of course, you will not replace their mother, but you’re becoming a big part of the family so you need to think about what kind of bond you will have with them. Try to imagine that situation in your head before you get married. Think about it. Will you be able to do that?
Will this type of lifestyle suit me?
Well, this one depends on how old you are. Dating someone with kids isn’t the same regarding what age you are. If you’re 20, you probably want to go out and have fun every night. For sure, that doesn’t fit with a father’s lifestyle. Even if children have a babysitter, a partner with kids will always be parent and will think about his kids all the time. So, if you still want to try to build a good relationship, expect more nights at home than in clubs.
Will I understand if he cancels our plans at the last minute?
It’s not the same when you’re dating someone with kids than someone without kids. Your partner’s much busier if he has kids and it’s possible that your date will be canceled. After all, kids and family life is unpredictable. Maybe, you will be angry because of that, but you need to have a lot of patience when dating someone with kids.
Dating someone with kids, how to know if it’s worth it?
Parenting is tough. However, parenting solo is tougher and more challenging. When you decide to date someone with kids, you’re accepting to be someone’s “number two” person in life. For sure, this isn’t for everyone. However, give yourself enough time and find out if dating someone with kids is something you want.