Depression has been part of my life ever since I was in sixth grade and as I neglected it with the time it got worse, developing especially for the last years of my life because my depression is getting worse at moments.
I just sunk…
The worst years were when I graduated high school and I had nothing else to do, couldn’t find work either and I just sunk into this huge hole of depression and anxiety.
The connection between these two has always been persistent for me and as they developed, my life was getting severely affected by the depression. My relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners were suffering so much because of it too.
The romantic relationships are like putting salt to the wound when you’re in a depression. And you both suffer because of it. Being depressed has caused many of my romantic relationships to collapse and fail, my mood and intrusive thoughts caused so much tension and problems between us that the relationship was just ending usually.
Making it seem worse than it really is
The depression takes a toll in all aspects of my life and takes over on times, making everything seem way worse than it actually is and the anxiety just feeds on that. The physical suffering from the depression also can be pretty severe, insomnia, tiredness, and actual physical pain, but what is really strongly felt for me is the hopelessness and the intrusive thoughts, I can say that’s the worst part of my depression.
The misconception of others about me very often makes my depressing thoughts grow and feed on that negative energy because when my family can’t understand what I’m going through, it just makes me feel like there’s no point in going forward, the thoughts of suicide appear very often in my depression but what really stops me from doing it is exactly the fact that will hurt my family really much and I wouldn’t want to hurt the people who gave me so much love in my life, despite the fact that sometimes they can’t really understand my depression.
My need to share
Even now that I’m a student of social pedagogy I sometimes feel the necessity to share my inner depression with someone, but I need to help others because there was no one for me when I needed one, that’s probably one of the things I learned from depression, that you should always try to do good because you don’t really know what’s happening to the person next to you, in the bus, on the street, sometimes even in your own home.
The worst things that happened to me after getting into depression are:
- Anxiety levels increased;
- Became more prone to intrusive thoughts;
- Lost some of my best friends;
- Lost the love of my life;
Things that I did that helped my depression:
- Reconnecting with my family and friends;
- Developing good habits – exercising, a good diet and sleep schedule;
- Finding ways to socialize;
- Making small changes in my life;
- Vitamin B complex against anxiety.
Never neglect depression!
The depression took a huge toll on my life because I didn’t act on the moment, neglecting it only made it worse and developed it to a point where I lost very close people to me, but with the right tools to counteract the depression, I was able to make the quality of my life better.
It could turn your daily life to a never-ending cycle of suffering, but only if you allow it to and as you fight with it, you’ll find yourself into a situation where you could do something about it, fight for your life with all your strength.