What are the signs he is hurting after a breakup – What do guys go through after a breakup? Interruptions can bring even the bravest man to his knees.
When someone he cares about leaves his life forever, he can become the shell of what he once was. It can change him completely, even if a breakup is a normal event in life.
The fact is that many men are professionals in hiding their emotional pain and heartache. They don’t want to show anyone their feeling, nor share it with others.
Here’s how to recognize if he’s hurting during a post breakup, even if he tries not to show it.
Signs he’s hurting after a break-up
1. He pursues other girls and goes to parties to make you jealous
A guys behavior differs depending on the individual. It depends on the person, of course. We aren’t all the same.
However, when looking for signs of pain after a breakup, look no further than his behavior in the company of other women.
If he completely avoids dating, it’s a red flag, but if he goes back to going out and having sex like a maniac then you can be sure it hurts. In this way, he tries to hide it.
But seriously: it’s a really obvious sign that he’s trying to force himself to be above you even though he’s not.
Therefore, he lives a debauched life so that he can hide his current pain, because that’s easier, isn’t it?
2. He throws himself a giant pity party and makes sure you see it
Sometimes a guy will show that he’s hurt by a breakup by … literally showing it. This type of man is different and not like the previous one. He simply doesn’t try to hide his pain.
He will post on all social networks, tag old photos, put on the saddest music on planet Earth whenever he can, and organize a pity party for everyone to see.
He wants to make sure that you and all your mutual friends see how sad he is and how much everything hurts him.
He also wants you to feel guilty for doing this to him. This is the easiest way for him to reach you, and to somehow disturb you, to spoil your happiness when he’s in pain.
You may be tempted to answer, but refrain. That, of course, is what he wants. That’s his goal.
3. He starts doing everything you always said you hated about him even more
If you hated your boyfriend’s destructive behaviors, if you were bothered by anything about him, he will surely do it now more than before to annoy you. Whether you hear through a best friend, see him online, or see him in person, you may notice that everything you hate is suddenly his new favorite thing, so he wants to get your attention.
He may also start doing things that are completely out of his character. This could include things that he hates as well. He also starts hanging out with people whose character has never suited him. It may seem that he’s actually doing it out of spite, which we believe he is. If this is his way of coping, then we recommend you practice the no contact rule with him.
4. He tries to show off that he’s doing great
This is probably what you would do if you felt very hurt. You wouldn’t let anyone see your current suffering. This is visible as a clear sign. It can be confusing because it’s the exact opposite of how he’s actually feeling.
He looks completely good, sounds completely good, and doesn’t express very strong emotions about what happened.
The red flag here is if he seems a little too OK. Certainly not, especially if he tries to say he’s doing great. It’s the total opposite, and an insight into realizing that the situation is probably the other way around. Read between the lines, it’s not hard.
5. He’s a danger to himself
Moving on, another key sign that he’s hurting after a breakup is if he “gets off track” and starts doing things that aren’t in line with his character. This often happens. He can become reckless, careless, and a danger to himself.
If his friends and family are concerned about him, they’ll probably turn to you and ask you what’s up with him.
When his friends and family try to intervene, he might turn them away and give no one a chance. His walls have risen because his broken heart is very real. We believe that indifference is the worst feeling that can be awakened in a person.
6. He says he’s really sorry about what he did or didn’t do
Another major sign that he’s hurting after a breakup is he apologizes to you for what he did or didn’t do when you guys were in a relationship. There’s simply such a need. Now whether there are some hidden intentions, you need to be the judge.
There is a bounty of different apologies that he can shoot your way. Whether he’s honest or not, these attempts at an apology show he’s not feeling well.
7. He enters into a new romantic relationship
When he jumps into a new relationship despite not being emotionally healed from his last breakup, it’s one of the signs that he’s hurt after the breakup. He just needs comfort. He thinks that a new romantic relationship is the only way to survive it all right now.
This could be his coping mechanism strategy because dealing with negative emotions associated with a breakup, such as pain, anger, and guilt, isn’t easy to deal with later in life. He may have entered into a new relationship with a new girl to avoid losing touch with you. We have to admit that sometimes it helps, but not always. It depends on the person.
8. He foul-mouths you
Maybe he says bad things about you because of unyielding and unresolved anger. He may even invent what to say although it doesn’t exist. For example, he may belittle you as an incompetent partner, a liar, or a cheater, which can temporarily lift his mood and self-esteem and calm him down at least for a moment. He develops this as one of his post-breakup bad habits.
Maybe he’s looking for compassion because it makes him feel better or he feels the need to justify the breakup. He wants you to feel like you’re the only person responsible for your breakup.
9. He seeks revenge
In anxiety after a breakup, he may not be able to see clearly. He may even lose his understanding of reality and seek revenge. For example, he could plan revenge to teach you a lesson by destroying your reputation on social media platforms.
He can blog, tweet, and email everyone on your friends list to tarnish your reputation.
10. He sees another chance
If he’s not ready to move on from his breakup with you, he might convince himself that another chance is a possibility. He could apologize to you if he feels bad for letting you go and regret the breakup. It’s his way of redeeming himself and convincing you to give him and the relationship another chance, even if it means reconciling to reunite. Apologies make him feel better and allow him to keep the dream alive.
It’s possible that he’s filled with low self-esteem, sadness, and pain. He wants to express these emotions to you with an apology, even though deep down he thinks he’s not guilty. However, now he’s at such a stage that he doesn’t care that he humiliates himself. He tells you and all of his loved ones that he only wants you.
11. He returned to his ex girlfriend
This often happens. The injured man wants his ex back. No, not you. The girlfriend that he had before you, if there was one. That ex might still be going through what he’s going through with you. He doesn’t love her, but she loves him, and that’s enough of a cover for him to look “happy” for at least a while. However, we know very well that this isn’t healthy and it can get harder with time.
12. He’s in a denial mode
He could try to convince himself that he’ll reconsider everything. Maybe he still loves you and wants to continue your relationship. Even after a breakup, he’ll be worried about you and will often call you or send you messages.
He might even inquire about your well-being from your closest friends. He simply denies that he’s no longer with you. He won’t admit to himself that the break up happened. He’ll think that the breakup is actually just a brief pause and that you and him are still in a relationship.
Should you try to check on him?
You’re probably not engaging in full contact with your ex partner at the moment. That’s somehow logical. It hurts, you miss him, and you wonder what he’s going through. It’s the natural maternal instinct in you.
At this stage after the breakup, many people in your position might go to great lengths to get in touch with your ex in an attempt to find out how he’s doing. Especially if you’re the person who ruled the relationship. Out of some despair and worry you will try to call him, send a message, or find some way to reach him. The problem is that, when a person doesn’t want to talk about their feelings, they pull away as best as they can.
After a breakup, a person can experience all kinds of emotions. As well, the latest memory they have of their ex boyfriend isn’t necessarily great, because it’s their breakup. You don’t want to keep mentioning it by asking how he feels and if he’s hurt.
If you want to know how he’s doing, look at his actions. He probably blocked you through social media, but you can still try to ask about him through his friends and family.
Telltale signs he’s hurt after a breakup
Let’s move on with the signs. If your ex is constantly out there, meeting new girls, seemingly spending the time of his life now that he’s single, and he wants you to see it, maybe that’s how he’s actually trying to hide his feelings.
Another sign that he’s hurt after the breakup is engaging in bad behavior and showing his insecurities. He sends you horrible messages, he’s a totally different person than before, and he’s simply unrecognizable. If he gets suddenly very uncomfortable or angry, it could be his defense mechanism to keep his distorted ego from falling apart. His hurt feelings and insecurities are bubbling inside him. He wants you to get worried about him so that you’ll come back.
Sometimes what guys do after a breakup doesn’t actually reflect that they’re hurt, but deep down they actually are. There are different ways to survive a breakup, but all boys do it differently. What guys feel after a breakup isn’t that different from what a women feel after a breakup, but it’s not always that easy to decipher.
There are a few more things to keep in mind when wondering about men’s feelings after a breakup. If you pay close attention to his behavior, you can begin to see if he has regrets that he let you go. It’s as if something has changed in him.
Here are a few things to look out for when wondering “Does he miss me?”
• He doesn’t see or date anyone else
• He has openly told you that he misses you
• He flirted with you whenever he had the chance, even after the two of you broke up
• Find excuses to keep in touch with you
• He constantly talks about you to mutual friends, so that they can pass it on to you
How do you know if he still loves you after a break up?
If he’s still in contact with you, either by SMS, phone, or in person, then he’s trying to reach you in any way he can.
Your ex could show up where he knows where you are, even if he doesn’t stay there. Just to make sure you’re okay. This is done by a person who loves, without any other intentions. Some guys might even just blurt out that they still love you.
If any of this seems or sounds familiar to you, your ex is still in love with you. Just take it easy on him. Be firm, but be compassionate. Some people find it hard to keep going and try, but they make mistakes too. Unless they show obsessive or abusive tendencies, be kind. If you’re being stalked or spied on in a very invasive way, then you need to involve the authorities. Otherwise, just stop having contact with him.
How do you know if he’s experiencing heartbreak?
First of all, you can easily see when someone’s heart is broken just by the way they behave, dress, or even walk. When someone is heartbroken, they act a bit lifeless because it seems like the other half has been torn away. They had spent most of their time with that person and out of nowhere they’re alone again. It’s difficult to return to a normal state, especially if the person didn’t expect that something like this could happen.
They probably differ a lot because they think about that person and review every detail just trying to figure out where it went wrong. Most of all, they blame themselves for it. With this, you’ll recognize who the people are with the broken heart.
Is it true that if a guy doesn’t chase you after a break up, he didn’t want you as bad?
No, if you break up with him and he doesn’t harass you and send you messages every day, he actually shows you some respect. Both to you and to yourself. He’s accepting your decision. We assume he’s hurt if he loves you, but he resisted the primordial desire to chase you, pray, and send messages as a result.
He has accepted the breakup and is probably in the process of trying to rebuild his life without you. That doesn’t mean he didn’t love you. This means that he’s mature enough to accept what happened and move on, because he has his life and his pride. Like it or not, he doesn’t act like a troublemaker and knows that praying makes him weak! Do you want a guy to show up at your door, crying tears over whiskey, and begging you to forgive him? Be grateful that you don’t have to deal with anything like that!
He doesn’t bother you. If you wanted him to chase you then you chose the wrong guy. He realized that if someone doesn’t appreciate him for what he is and what he brings into the relationship, then he’ll find someone else who does.
Basically, if he’s not chasing you, it doesn’t mean he didn’t love you, but he sees it’s time to move on without you.
Why do men jump right into a new relationship after a breakup?
Have you ever noticed that many guys get attached to someone new right after a breakup? So fast and so easily?
It’s important to say that guys aren’t the only ones doing it. Women will sometimes unite with someone right after a breakup. Not maybe as often as men, but it happens.
Usually called a “bouncing” person, they find someone new. This is to briefly “shut down” their hurt thoughts or at least try to direct them to another person.
Unfortunately for the person they rebounded with, the relationship is doomed from the start. This is because, sooner or later, the bouncer will eventually realize that all the benefits of a new courtship are short-lived and not long-term. That’s why it’s always good to resolve all inner feelings and then direct them towards another person.
In contrast, women are much better equipped to work emotionally and process feelings of loss so that their next relationship is not burdened with baggage. They want all feelings to be left behind and move on.
Why do some men seem indifferent?
A common feeling after a breakup is indifference. Using this type of answer, the guy will engage in a semi-obligatory conversation while concealing his feelings.
When men do this, they deliberately want to silence any emotional reaction to the breakup. It’s a characteristic that such conversations are boring, monotonous, and devoid of feelings, and you wonder if you have ever been with such a person.
How do you know when he’s ready for love again?
It’s difficult to estimate exactly when a man is ready for love again. That can’t be known.
One school of thought says that the right person will get him out of trouble, but another philosophy would say that there’s a certain amount of time that every man needs to come back from a broken heart and move on. Everyone’s affected differently by the situation that is a breakup.
After all, every guy’s different and every situation is different. Some people immediately move on and some people have to have time to get over it.
Some people are dealing with other life problems in addition to the breakup, while others will be ready to return within a few months.
At the end of the day, every heart’s different, and all you can do as a friend or potential partner is to show emotional support, give relationship advice, show compassion and give patience for their pain. Be a relationship coach in this sense to him.
How does a man handle a breakup?
Finally, let’s draw some conclusions. Men don’t become happy after a breakup unless they want to. Interruptions can impair an individual’s mental health and cause the most psychological stress. Therefore, no matter how stoic you are, interruptions will have some effect on you.
When it comes to handling breakups, men do it differently. Sometimes, their temperament and character determine how they’ll deal with interruptions.
In the first place, for some men, a one-night stand is the only option to keep away the memories of the breakup. Some men will continue to sleep around until they find another valuable partner. Other men might prefer to be left alone and try to plan their life without a partner.
When men are the ones left behind, you need to know they’re experiencing real pain. Guys often never “get over” a breakup. Instead, they simply go further with the weight they feel.
I hope you found the material shared in this post useful. If you’re a male reader, you now have a new insight into how some guys deal with a breakup. As well, if you’re an ex-girlfriend, much of what’s presented here probably serves as a confirmation of things you’ve long suspected.