Things narcissistic mothers say are predictable. They always want to manipulate you. Narcissistic mothers will use your guilt to manipulate you and show you how much they sacrificed to give you a good life.
Definition of a narcissistic mother
A narcissistic mother is a female parent who has a narcissistic personality disorder. She’s the type of person who wants to control everything and even behave toxically towards her children. Some things make narcissistic mothers different than other mothers. They don’t have empathy for other people’s needs and feelings. Due to their behavior, their children become narcissistic or a victim of narcissism.
Children with narcissistic mothers
Narcissistic mothers consider their children as objects. They use them to satisfy their desires and everything they didn’t succeed in before. Their goal is to make their children do what they want, no matter if the child wants to or not. They use their children as an extension of their life. Their children aren’t allowed to have their life because they’re there to serve her and do what she wants. As a result of growing up with this kind of childhood, most children who grow up with narcissistic mothers grow into people who aren’t able to make a simple decision or to do what they want. They’re trained to meet others’ expectations.
Things narcissistic mothers say – Signs of narcissistic abuse
Things narcissistic mothers say leave marks on you for your whole life. Sometimes, you will feel guilty because no matter how good you are, you don’t get approval or acceptance. Narcissistic mothers expect you to do what they want and you’re not able to have your opinion. They will manipulate you so much that you won’t notice that you’re not doing what you want to do. Also, if you have siblings, sometimes you will feel like you’re constantly in a tournament where you’re competing with them to be your mother’s golden child. She will favor a child who does everything that she wants. She will make you feel like a failure because you failed to meet her standards.
10 things narcissistic mothers say
Narcissistic mothers say hurtful things and sometimes you don’t even notice it because you’re used to it. You have probably heard the same, mean, comments your whole life. A narcissistic mother often makes you feel guilty so that she can get her needs fulfilled. Here are a few things narcissistic mothers say, and what she means by saying them.
I’m just trying to help you
She wants to say that she can criticize you, even if you’re doing everything right. If you fail, she will blame you, because she would do it better.
I’m just joking with you
If she’s making fun of you, she doesn’t want to take responsibility. She loves you and she has the right to behave however she wants.
You did that to hurt me
Whenever you chose to do something without her approval, even if it’s something good for you, she will blame you. She doesn’t want you to do anything on your own and she will consider it that you did that to hurt her.
This is one of the most common things narcissistic mothers say. When she’s mad, because you didn’t do what she wants, she will tell you that you’re ungrateful. This can even include doing something that you had to do in order to live.
Don’t be dramatic, you cry for no reason
When you have a problem, it’s expected of you to ask your parents for advice. Well, when you have a narcissistic mother, there’s a huge possibility that you will feel even worse after asking her for advice. She will yell at you and get angry if you’re crying. She thinks that if it doesn’t affect her, it also can’t be her problem.
You won’t have a life when I’m gone
Every time you want to do something for yourself, she will make you feel guilty by saying how you will be sorry when she’s gone. When she says that, you will feel even worse because it will make you feel ungrateful and you will cancel all your plans that she doesn’t approve of.
You will be a scapegrace
Whenever you struggle with anything, she tells you that you’ll end up on the street being a scapegrace. How dare she? She’s your parent, and instead of being there for you when your life gets hard, she only makes it worse.
I don’t care
This is one of the most common things that narcissistic mothers say. Whenever she tells you she doesn’t care, you ask yourself “then who cares about me if she doesn’t?”.
How dare you ask me that?
While growing up, your parents also have to grow up with you. They need to be ready to be asked a lot of questions because every child’s curious. It’s good to ask questions. As well, it’s normal for children to ask their parents questions about everything. If your mother’s narcissistic, she will yell at you and ask you how dare you to ask something that she doesn’t consider allowed to ask.
You’re the reason our family fell apart
This is the sentence that’s the most hurtful to any child. If your parents are divorced and they blame you for that, remember that it’s not possible that you’re responsible for that. They have known each other even before you were born. If they had such a perfect relationship, how could anyone affect it? Sometimes, narcissistic mothers say that and don’t even realize how much weight the spoken words have and how much it affects their children.
Difference between things narcissistic mothers say to sons and daughters
Narcissistic mothers tend to be very determined to make their daughters mini versions of themselves or their idealized selves. They also project their bad behavior and properties on their daughters. When her daughter grows up, she starts to see her as a competition. Due to that, she prefers her son. However, even if she prefers her son, she can hurt him in other ways. This can be explained with this quote from Darlene Lancer, “Sons of narcissistic mothers suffer damage to their autonomy, self-worth, and future relationships with women.”
Things narcissistic mothers say – Remember…
Things narcissistic mothers say leave you feeling bad and you think that you don’t deserve to live. So just remember, your life can be better. If you realize your mother’s narcissistic and she affects your life in the wrong way, get away from her. Don’t continue to look for the mistakes in yourself, it’s not you! You can’t deal with something you can’t see. Use this situation to grow and rise above her!