A platonic friendship might seem a little superfluous at first glance. After all, friendships are platonic by definition, right? Platonic friendship especially refers to the friendship between two people who, in theory, could feel attracted to each other. At some point, one or both people may experience some special feeling and ask themselves, “what if we try to go out after all?” It may seem that the relationship could go either way – continue as a friendship or turn into romance. If you experience such feelings and decide to keep what you have, your friendship certainly remains platonic. People often assume that platonic friendships never succeed, especially if one of you develops feelings or misinterprets certain signals as signs of attraction. Is that really so?
What a platonic friendship doesn’t mean
Friendships fulfill an important social need and can look completely different for everyone. The vast majority of friendships are experienced in different ways. In general, there’s nothing wrong with any healthy situation that suits you. However, a friendship that involves a desire for romance or something bigger, whether you share those feelings with your friend or not, isn’t platonic.
Is it unrequited love?
Is it unrequited love or is it something else? If you’re currently in love with one of your friends, it’s still possible to maintain a friendship. You can’t consider this friendship platonic love if you cling to romantic hopes.
This can be a double sword for you. You may think you have a platonic friendship while in reality you just don’t know how you or your friend feels. It’s not uncommon to develop romantic feelings towards a friend, especially if you spend a lot of time together.
Friendship with a hidden motive
Befriending someone with the hope that you will eventually date them isn’t a platonic friendship. It’s also a bit unfair. Opening up about your feelings will usually serve you best. You can’t make someone fall in love with you just by being close and patient. Always keep in mind that if they eventually start to feel the same way about you, they may not be happy when they realize that you have deceived them about your feelings and intentions. Even if they never find out, a relationship based on fraud doesn’t have the best start. Always keep that in mind.
Friendships after a breakup
It’s pretty normal to end a relationship, especially a long one, with some long-lasting romantic feelings. Even if you’ve both fallen in love, decided you’re better off as friends, or both, it’s usually hard to move from deep intimacy to something strictly platonic. These feelings can confuse you and make you wonder if you should try again. Surely your feelings will be mixed. You may break up and reconnect, or you may go through the situation over and over again. So it goes round and round. Some people become good friends after a breakup or divorce, although the specific circumstances of the breakup could affect this outcome. Setting clear boundaries and putting the effort into the friendship you want can make a healthy friendship more likely.
What if you have a romantic partner?
In a perfect world, any romantic relationship would be characterized by a strong sense of trust. However, people aren’t perfect, and even partners who trust each other can still experience occasional jealousy and doubt. Of course it’s kind of normal, if it’s within limits. Sometimes platonic friendships turn into a great romance. So while your partner’s worries may seem unnecessary to you, they’re pretty normal. These tips can help keep both relationships strong.
Don’t diminish your friendship
If you share a strong bond with a friend, you might feel tempted to diminish your intimacy with your partner because you simply won’t see another way out. However, this can be a little problematic because if they find out that you were less than honest with them, you may find it hard to believe again, one lost trust is hard to regain. You might also be wondering if you would continue to hang out with someone you say you “don’t like that much”. Pretending that your friend is not so important does then injustice. Just imagine yourself in such a situation. Own your relationship and talk to your friend! Tell your partner how much a friend means to you and how lucky you are to have not one but two valuable relationships. In the end, you can be left without both.
What is a platonic friendship – is it possible?
Spend time in a group
Next time you hang out with your friend, invite your partner to join.
This can help them:
• feel less excluded
• get to know your friend
• see the nature of your friendship for what it really is.
So, consider watching a movie you all enjoy or enjoying a group dinner together.
It’s always a good idea and at the same time reduces the inconvenience.
Maintain balance
Sometimes you really need to be present for a friend. In other cases, your partner may need support when dealing with something difficult. You will probably occasionally have to give preference to one relationship over another. However, it’s important to have a degree of understanding for both sides. It’s crucial to avoid consistent neglect of one relationship. Friendships and romantic relationships have different roles in your life, but both are important. It’s not always possible to be there whenever someone needs you, but strive for balance instead of devoting most of your free time to one or the other. Also watch out for red flags, like a partner trying to make you feel guilty or otherwise manipulate you to spend time with him instead of with a friend, or vice versa. To maintain a good balance in a horizontal relationship you must have more understanding and both your partner and friend need to have the same understanding towards you.
How do you know when a platonic friendship is changing?
Body language is one of the simplest signs we can look for when trying to determine how our friend feels about us. Do you find that they always tend to overwhelm? Touching your hand? Or remove hair from your face? These are small, subtle physical indicators of affection that may indicate that your friend is also developing deep feelings for you. Especially if your friend hasn’t done it before.
So can platonic relationships work?
The short answer is yes – if you’re willing to invest time into it. However, to make sure no one’s developing feelings for others, it’s worth contacting your friend and making sure everyone’s on the same page. Have an open and clear discussion about what each person wants in the relationship. Even if there’s fear around this conversation, avoiding the topic could do more harm than good. As soon as you realize that you feel something more towards that person or you feel that that person feels something towards you, don’t run away from the conversation. Be mature and face the situation, so that you don’t feel like you’re left without anything. It’s possible that the consequences of unexplored and uncoordinated intentions could result in anger and potentially lead to the very end of a friendship. After this article “What is a platonic friendship – is it possible?” We hope that things are a little clearer to you and that you will use at least some of the tips well. Good luck!